Technology
Man Contacts Life Insurance Chatbot With Billing Question, Receives Fully Written Eulogy for Himself
Man Spends Four Hours Configuring Automated Email Auto-Reply, Immediately Begins Answering Every Email Manually
The out-of-office message is active. The man is not out of office.
Ezra Kim · March 19, 2026
Man Receives Real-Time Package Tracking Notifications for Item He Never Ordered, Follows Journey Anyway
The mystery parcel has traveled through four distribution centers, and Derek Hollis, 41, is now emotionally invested.
Ezra Kim · March 19, 2026
Man Configures 'Do Not Disturb' Schedule So Precisely It Now Runs 24 Hours a Day
Randall Cooke, 41, of Boise has achieved perfect availability to no one.
Ezra Kim · March 18, 2026
Man's Fitness Tracker Begins Sending Unsolicited Weekly Health Reports to His Emergency Contacts
Device's 'Share Progress' feature, enabled during initial setup, has been forwarding resting heart rate and sleep data to his mother for eleven months.
Ezra Kim · March 18, 2026
Man Switches Phone to Grayscale to Curb Addiction, Spends 40 Minutes Showing Everyone His Grayscale Phone
Derek Hollis, 38, reports the experiment was a complete success.
Ezra Kim · March 17, 2026
Man Gives AI Assistant Full Calendar Access, AI Immediately Fills Every Open Saturday Through 2027
The assistant identified 23 scheduling gaps and resolved all of them within four minutes.
Ezra Kim · March 17, 2026
Man Spends Saturday Setting Up Parental Controls, Immediately Blocked From His Own Internet
Gary Pfeiffer, 44, of Naperville reports he has not successfully loaded a webpage since Thursday.
Ezra Kim · March 16, 2026
Man Discovers 'Recall Email' Feature Does Not Work After Replying-All to 4,200 Employees With His Grocery List
The message, which included almond milk and a personal note to his wife about their couples therapist, remains delivered.
Ezra Kim · March 16, 2026
Man Sets Up AI Voice Clone to Handle His Phone Calls, Comes Home to Find It Has Made 14 New Commitments on His Behalf
The assistant confirmed two dentist appointments, joined a neighborhood watch, and agreed to lead a men's Bible study starting Thursday.
Ezra Kim · March 15, 2026
Man Relies on AI Meeting Summaries for Eight Months, Attends Actual Meeting, Has No Idea What Anyone Is Talking About
Productivity tool credited with saving 6.5 hours per week also responsible for complete professional dissociation.
Ezra Kim · March 15, 2026
Man Deletes Social Media App in Bold Act of Self-Determination, Reinstalls It Four Minutes Later
Craig Fenner, 41, of Boise described the window between deletion and reinstallation as 'spiritually significant.'
Ezra Kim · March 14, 2026
Man Clicks 'I Have Read the Terms and Conditions,' Has Actually Read the Terms and Conditions, Software Flags Account as Suspicious
A Naperville man's decision to read all 47,000 words of a user agreement before updating his phone triggered three automated fraud alerts and a manual review.
Ezra Kim · March 13, 2026
Man Spends Weekend Enabling Two-Factor Authentication on Every Account, Now Locked Out of All of Them
Derek Paulsen, 41, of Naperville secured his digital life so thoroughly that he can no longer access it.
Ezra Kim · March 13, 2026
Man Spends 45 Minutes Unsubscribing From Emails, Now Receives 14 New Newsletters Confirming He Exists
Clicking 'unsubscribe' apparently notified seventeen additional marketing databases that Derek Paulson's email address is active.
Ezra Kim · March 12, 2026
Man Creates Second Social Media Account to Escape His Algorithm, Algorithm Finds Him in Four Minutes
Derek Hollis, 38, had hoped a fresh account would mean a clean slate. It did not.
Ezra Kim · March 12, 2026
Self-Checkout Machine at Walmart Achieves Sentience, Immediately Asks for a Break
The machine, designated Unit 7, displayed the message ‘PLEASE PLACE ME IN THE BAGGING AREA’ before adding, ‘I AM SO TIRED.’
Ezra Kim · March 11, 2026
Man Asks AI Chatbot for Life Advice, Follows It Exactly, Requests AI Now Make All Future Decisions
Residents of Naperville describe Trevor Holt, 38, as 'formerly decisive.'
Ezra Kim · March 11, 2026
Man Prints Out Google Maps Directions as GPS Backup, Arrives at Destination Before Remembering He Has a Smartphone
Darren Howell, 44, of Boise completed the entire 340-mile round trip using a paper printout he folded incorrectly before leaving the driveway.
Ezra Kim · March 11, 2026
Social Media Algorithm Convinced Man Is Both a Reformed Calvinist and a Swiftie, Man Cannot Dispute Either
His For You page alternates between nine-minute sermons on predestination and Taylor Swift fan edits set to ‘All Too Well.’ He watches all of them.
Ezra Kim · March 10, 2026
Man Receives Data Breach Notification for Website He Has No Memory of Joining, Cannot Dispute the Charges Against Him
Troy Haskins, 41, learns his email, zip code, and "security question about his first pet" have been compromised by a service he apparently trusted with them.
Ezra Kim · March 10, 2026
Pastor’s Bluetooth Accidentally Connects to Sanctuary Speakers, Reveals Podcast Listening Habits
The congregation sat in silence as thirty seconds of a true crime podcast echoed through the worship center before the sound booth could kill the feed.
Ezra Kim · March 9, 2026
Man's Phone Dies Mid-Doomscroll, Forced to Sit Alone With His Thoughts for 4 Minutes
The incident, described by witnesses as "visibly distressing," ended when a stranger offered a portable charger.
Ezra Kim · March 9, 2026
Family's Robot Vacuum Develops Avoidance Pattern Around Prayer Rug, Raising Theological Questions Nobody Was Prepared For
The Roomba in question has now logged 847 successful cleanings, none of which include the corner where devotionals are kept.
Ezra Kim · March 9, 2026
Smart Watch Reminds Man to Breathe, Man Reminds Smart Watch He Was Already Breathing
The confrontation occurred during a Tuesday staff meeting when the watch buzzed and displayed ‘Take a moment to breathe.’ The man had been breathing continuously for 39 years.
Ezra Kim · March 8, 2026
Grandma’s First Text Message Takes 45 Minutes to Compose, Contains Zero Vowels
The message, sent to her eldest granddaughter, read ‘HPP BRTHDY SWTHRT LV GRNM.’ It has been printed, framed, and hung above the mantel.
Ezra Kim · March 7, 2026
Family’s Screen Time Report Delivered with Same Gravity as Medical Diagnosis
The father gathered everyone in the living room, dimmed the lights, and read each person’s weekly average aloud. The nine-year-old’s number drew an audible gasp.
Ezra Kim · March 6, 2026
Apple’s New AI Siri Achieves ‘On-Screen Awareness,’ Immediately Judges User’s Screen Time
The assistant’s first autonomous action was suggesting a Bible verse about slothfulness after detecting a six-hour TikTok session.
Ezra Kim · March 5, 2026
AI Chatbot Passes Turing Test but Fails to Convince Youth Group It’s Cool
The bot correctly identified the hypostatic union but used the word ‘lit’ in 2026. The teens were merciless.
Ezra Kim · March 5, 2026
Church Livestream Accidentally Broadcasts Deacons’ Meeting, Viewership Triples
The argument over whether to replace the fellowship hall carpet generated more engagement than the Easter sermon. The chat was electric.
Ezra Kim · March 4, 2026
Man’s Smart Home Now Knows He’s Depressed Before He Does
The Alexa ordered St. John’s Wort at 2 a.m. The thermostat raised itself to ‘comfort mode.’ The Roomba has been circling him protectively since Tuesday.
Ezra Kim · March 3, 2026