NAPERVILLE, IL — Greg Holloway, 41, discovered Wednesday evening that $847.14 in his Flexible Spending Account expires at midnight December 31, leaving him approximately 19 hours to purchase eligible medical supplies he cannot name, locate, or confirm he needs.

Holloway, who enrolled in the FSA benefit during a 2024 open enrollment session he describes as “mostly a blur,” had not logged into the benefits portal since February of that year, when he used $14 on a box of bandages. The remaining balance had been accruing in quiet judgment ever since.

“I Googled ‘what can I buy with FSA money’ and the list was enormous, so I don’t know why I’m standing in this aisle holding a cervical pillow,” Holloway told a reporter he had not invited. “I don’t have a cervical problem. I might have one now.”

“He came in around 8 p.m. and started loading the basket with thermometers,” said store manager Denise Wakefield, 38. “By 9:15 he had four blood pressure cuffs and was asking if sunscreen counted. It does. He already knew. He was testing me.”

Holloway eventually purchased two heating pads, a year’s supply of contact lens solution despite having 20/20 vision, a digital ear thermometer, compression socks in three sizes, and a children’s stethoscope he confirmed was “probably fine.”

At press time, Holloway was in the parking lot calculating whether the remaining $211.07 was enough for a CPAP machine he does not need but has always been “kind of curious about.”