NAPERVILLE, IL — A dresser assembled Sunday afternoon by Doug Reinhart, 47, without consulting the included instruction manual is currently holding nine pounds of folded laundry and the full weight of one man’s certainty that he did everything correctly.

Reinhart, who reportedly told his wife Sandra that the instructions were “basically pictures,” completed the six-drawer unit in approximately two hours, a pace he described as “record time” and family members described as “alarming.” A bag containing what Reinhart called “extra parts” remains on the floor of the master bedroom. The dresser leans three degrees to the left.

“He has assembled, at minimum, four pieces of furniture this way,” said Sandra Reinhart, 45. “None of them are level. All of them are still standing. I genuinely don’t know what to tell you.”

“The instructions are written for people who don’t know what they’re doing. I know what I’m doing.” — Doug Reinhart, 47, gesturing at a dresser that is visibly tilted

Their son Tyler, 14, counted eleven leftover screws in the bag and presented the finding to his father, who explained that IKEA intentionally includes extras. Tyler submitted the bag to his mother as evidence. The dresser has not moved, shifted, or collapsed since Sunday, which Doug has cited fourteen times.

At press time, Doug had located the instruction manual in the box, read the first page, set it back down, and confirmed there was “nothing in there he hadn’t already figured out.”