WASHINGTON, D.C. — Sen. Douglas Hale, 61, of Nebraska held a press conference Tuesday to unveil what he described as a “historic bipartisan achievement” — a 47-page infrastructure bill that currently has no co-sponsors, no committee support, and has not been read by any other sitting member of Congress.

Hale, flanked by two American flags and a chart nobody in the room could see clearly, explained that the bill transcends partisan division because he personally has mixed feelings about two of its provisions.

“When I look at this legislation, I don’t see a Republican bill or a Democrat bill,” Hale told reporters. “I see an American bill. Specifically, I see my bill, which I wrote, and which I also revised, and which I have now introduced for the fourth consecutive Congress.”

“I reached across the aisle. Nobody reached back. That’s on them.”

Senate Majority Whip Patricia Okoye, 54, confirmed her office had received a copy of the bill but said staff had not yet determined “what pile it went into.” A spokesperson for the minority leader said they were “broadly supportive of infrastructure in principle” and wished Sen. Hale well.

Hale’s office noted that the bill had been praised by his college roommate, a retired civil engineer in Omaha who called it “pretty solid, mostly.”

At press time, Hale had introduced an amended version of the bill incorporating his roommate’s feedback and was calling the revision “an unprecedented public-private collaboration.”