CEDAR FALLS, IA — My name is Donna Ferreira, I am 61 years old, and I have coordinated the fellowship meal sign-up sheet at Cornerstone Community Church since 2009. I am writing this because last Sunday, Gerald brought chips again. Not a side dish. Not a casserole. A bag of Ruffles with the store sticker still on it.

The sheet has categories. I made the categories. There is a column for “Main Dish,” a column for “Side Dish,” a column for “Dessert,” and a column for “Bread.” Gerald has written “chips” in the Main Dish column for seven consecutive years. I have called him. I have left notes. In 2022, I laminated the instructions.

“The sign-up sheet is a covenant document. You sign it, you bring what you signed. This is not complicated. This is not even theology.”

I want to be clear that I love Gerald. Gerald is a kind man who volunteers for the parking lot ministry and once helped me move a folding table. But Gerald does not understand that 47 people cannot build a meal around Ruffles and three identical green bean casseroles, two of which are from the same recipe on the back of the French’s can.

Pastor Williams told me to “extend grace in all things.” I told Pastor Williams that grace does not fill a buffet line. He had no theological response to that.

I have asked my husband, Keith, 63, whether I should step down. He said, and I quote, “Donna, if you step down, nobody eats.” Keith is correct.

At press time, the sign-up sheet for the April fellowship dinner had already been filled in with “chips” in the Main Dish column. The handwriting was Gerald’s.