LANSING, MI — My name is Dale Hoffmann, I am 54 years old, and I have been seated behind a Behringer mixing board in the back-left corner of Cornerstone Fellowship every Sunday since the second Bush administration.

In that time, I have EQ’d approximately 890 sermons, ridden the fader through 14 pastoral transitions, and personally prevented the congregation from hearing Pastor Rick’s open-mic rendition of “Every Breath You Take” during a sound check in 2019. You are welcome. No one knows.

After every service, someone walks up to Marcus — Marcus, who stands at the front, in the light, holding a guitar — and tells him the worship “really moved them today.” Marcus smiles. Marcus accepts this. Marcus does not say, “Dale compressed the low-mids on the acoustic so it didn’t sound like a garbage can, and that’s why you felt something.”

“The Spirit moves through the music. The music moves through the speakers. The speakers do not move without gain structure. I’m just saying there’s a chain of custody here.”

People thank the pastor. People thank the florist. One Sunday, someone thanked the chairs. I have a laminated seating chart and a folder labeled “Feedback Issues by Room Quadrant” and I have never been thanked by anyone other than my wife, who mostly thanks me for not talking about it at dinner.

I’m not bitter. I want to be clear about that. I am simply documenting the facts, as a matter of record, so that when the Lord returns, at least the timeline is accurate.

At press time, Marcus had just been asked to lead a worship workshop, and Dale had been asked to move his car.