Money
First-Time Homebuyer Celebrates Mortgage Rate Dropping to ‘Only’ 6%, Throws Party Nobody Can Afford to Attend
Man Who Bet on Prediction Market Claims Gift of Prophecy, Requests Tax-Exempt Status
His LinkedIn now says ‘Prophet | Futures Trader | Blessed.’
Ezra Kim · March 5, 2026
Dave Ramsey Fan Cuts Up Credit Cards, Immediately Needs One for Hotel Check-In
The front desk clerk watched him tape two halves of a Visa back together for eleven minutes before suggesting he use a debit card.
Ezra Kim · March 3, 2026
Man Tithes Faithfully for 30 Years, Prosperity Gospel Preacher Tithes on a Yacht
The congregant drives a 2007 Camry. The pastor named his 42-foot catamaran ‘Blessed Beyond Measure.’
Ezra Kim · March 5, 2026
Millennial Discovers Grandparents Bought House for $12,000, Needs Moment
The house is now worth $487,000. The grandparents paid it off in four years on a single income. The millennial has been sitting in her car for twenty minutes.
Ezra Kim · March 6, 2026
Side Hustle Economy So Strong Local Man Now Has Seven Jobs and No Life
He drives for two rideshare apps, walks dogs, resells sneakers, tutors online, manages a vending machine, and proofreads dissertations. His wife has filed a missing persons report.
Ezra Kim · March 7, 2026
Startup Founder Calls Company a ‘Family,’ Family Does Not Offer Stock Options
The Slack channel is called #we-are-family. The PTO policy is ‘unlimited’ but culturally forbidden. Three employees have cried this week.
Ezra Kim · March 8, 2026
Couple Prays Over Finances, Discovers They’ve Been Paying for Three Streaming Services They Don’t Use
The combined monthly cost of the forgotten subscriptions was $47.96, which the couple has described as ‘a tithe to Netflix.’
Ezra Kim · March 9, 2026
Financial Advisor Tells Client to ‘Trust the Process,’ Client Unsure If He Means the Market or the Lord
The advisor’s office contains both a Bloomberg terminal and a framed copy of Jeremiah 29:11. The client has not been able to determine which one is driving the strategy.
Ezra Kim · March 10, 2026
Inflation So High Church Offering Plate Now Accepts Venmo, Crypto, and Emotional Support
The deacons installed a QR code on the collection plate after the average cash offering dropped to $3.12 and a coupon for Arby’s.
Ezra Kim · March 12, 2026