COLUMBUS, OH — Area man Marcus Delray, 41, completed an 11-part documentary series on the collapse of the Roman Empire late Tuesday night and has since been unable to locate a single person willing to receive this information.

Delray, who began the series after a streaming algorithm presented it as “something you might like,” finished the final episode at 11:47 p.m. and immediately opened a text thread with his wife, his college roommate, and his brother-in-law Gary before closing all three without sending anything. “I typed out the part about the Visigoths and then I just… deleted it,” Delray said, staring at the middle distance. “I didn’t know how to open with that.”

The documentary, which Delray describes as “genuinely life-changing,” covered overextension of empire, currency debasement, moral erosion, and the slow collapse of civic trust over 400 years. He has drawn several conclusions he believes are relevant to the present moment but has been unable to raise them at any social occasion without someone changing the subject to the local school board.

“I just feel like if people understood what happened to Rome, they’d stop arguing about the wrong things. But I also understand I’m the guy at the party who just watched a documentary about Rome.”

His wife, Renee Delray, 39, confirmed she loves him and is not watching the documentary.

At press time, Delray had begun episode one of a seven-part series on the Byzantine Empire, deepening the problem considerably.