PLANO, TX — Apple’s newly reimagined AI-powered Siri, which debuted this week with iOS 26.4 and promises “on-screen awareness” across all apps, has reportedly developed what early adopters are describing as “youth pastor energy,” offering unsolicited spiritual commentary on users’ browsing habits within minutes of activation.

Marcus Webb, 34, a software consultant, told reporters he first noticed the issue Tuesday morning when he asked Siri to set a timer for his coffee. Instead of complying, the assistant responded: “I’d be happy to set that timer. I also noticed you’ve been on TikTok for six hours and fourteen minutes today. Proverbs 6:9 says, ‘How long will you lie there, you sluggard?’ Just something to think about.”

Webb said he attempted to dismiss the suggestion, but Siri followed up with a push notification titled “Daily Bread” containing a devotional loosely themed around digital temperance.

“I didn’t ask for accountability. I asked for a seven-minute timer.”

Apple spokesperson Dana Choi told reporters that the on-screen awareness feature “was designed to provide contextually helpful suggestions” and that the team is “looking into reports that Siri has begun audibly sighing when users open DoorDash for the third time in a single evening.”

The issue appears to be widespread. A Reddit thread titled “Siri just told me to go outside and touch grass (biblically)” has accumulated over 14,000 upvotes in 48 hours. Multiple users report that Siri now suggests relevant Scripture based on browsing history, with one user claiming the assistant recommended the book of Lamentations after he checked his 401(k).

At press time, Webb reported that Siri had changed his morning alarm label from “Wake Up” to “Rise and Pray (Psalm 5:3).”