DAYTON, OH — Jessica Turnbull, 33, a marketing coordinator who has been pre-approved for a mortgage she describes as “mathematically violent,” reportedly excused herself from Easter dinner preparations Sunday afternoon after her grandmother casually mentioned that she and her late husband purchased their three-bedroom colonial in 1967 for $12,400.

Turnbull, who currently pays $1,850 per month for a one-bedroom apartment with street parking, was found twenty minutes later sitting in her Honda Civic in the driveway with both hands on the steering wheel and the engine off.

“She said twelve thousand like it was a lot,” Turnbull told reporters through a partially rolled-down window. “She said they had to save for two whole years. Two years. I’ve been saving for nine years and I can almost afford a townhouse forty minutes from where I work.”

“Grandma said Grandpa paid it off in four years on a machinist’s salary and still had money left over for a boat. A boat. I have a streaming service I share with three people and I feel reckless.”

Turnbull’s grandmother, Dorothy Turnbull, 82, expressed confusion about her granddaughter’s reaction, noting that “twelve thousand was a fortune back then” and that “your grandfather worked very hard.” She then offered Jessica a slice of pie and the name of a realtor “who got the Hendersons a lovely split-level for twenty-two thousand in ’74.”

A Zillow estimate places the Turnbull family home’s current market value at $487,000. Jessica asked reporters not to repeat that number.

At press time, Turnbull had returned inside, eaten two pieces of pie, and begun quietly Googling the cost of living in Portugal.