OVERLAND PARK, KS — Local mother Jennifer Garza, 38, issued a “five more minutes” warning to her three children at approximately 4:15 p.m. Saturday afternoon. It is now 5:02 p.m. The children have not moved, changed activities, or acknowledged the warning in any capacity.

Garza, a dental office manager and mother of three, delivered the warning from the kitchen doorway using what her husband, Carlos, 40, described as “her serious voice, the one she uses maybe four times a year.” The children — ages 11, 8, and 5 — were playing a video game at the time and reportedly responded with a unified “okay” that witnesses say contained no detectable intention to comply.

“She said five more minutes at 4:15,” Carlos confirmed from the garage, where he had retreated to avoid involvement. “She said it again at 4:30. Then at 4:45 she said ‘I mean it this time.’ The kids didn’t even pause the game.”

“I have issued 4,000 five-minute warnings over the past eleven years. Not one of them has ever meant five minutes. Everyone in this house knows that, including the dog.”

The eldest child, Mason, 11, told reporters he has developed a “conversion formula” for his mother’s time estimates. “Five minutes means fifteen. ‘We’re leaving soon’ means forty-five. ‘One more time and I’m turning it off’ means three more times, minimum.”

Garza acknowledged that her warnings lack what she called “structural enforcement” but maintained that “the intention is real every single time.”

At press time, Garza had issued a sixth warning described as “final,” a designation she has used fourteen times this month alone.