MURFREESBORO, TN — Keith Brogan, 53, a deacon at Liberty Hill Baptist Church, has publicly condemned this year’s Super Bowl halftime performance as “an assault on decency and a sign of cultural decline,” a verdict he arrived at after watching the entire fourteen-minute show live, rewinding it on DVR immediately after, and reviewing key segments on YouTube the following morning.

“I had to watch it twice to fully understand just how inappropriate it was,” Brogan told reporters from his living room, where the YouTube clip was still paused on his 65-inch television. “The first time I was in shock. The second time was for documentation purposes.”

His wife, Carol, 51, confirmed that Keith also watched a seventeen-minute reaction video and read four opinion articles about the performance before composing a 900-word Facebook post titled “Where Have Our Values Gone?” that received forty-three likes, most of them from men who also watched the show twice.

“He keeps saying he didn’t want to see it. But nobody made him rewind. Nobody made him search for it on YouTube. The remote was in his hand the entire time.”

Carol offered the above comment while clearing Super Bowl party plates from the coffee table, adding that Keith had hosted twelve people specifically to watch the game and “did not leave the room or close his eyes at any point during the halftime show, despite suggesting beforehand that everyone should.”

Brogan said he plans to write a letter to the NFL expressing his concerns and has already begun compiling screenshots, which he keeps in a folder on his desktop labeled “Evidence of Decline.”

At press time, Brogan had clicked on a related halftime compilation video titled “Most Controversial Moments 2015–2026” and was watching it with what Carol described as “the intensity of a man conducting very important research.”