Culture
Area Man’s Prayers for World Peace Entering Third Consecutive Overtime
Netflix Cancels New Biblical Drama After Discovering It’s Just the Bible
The eight-episode limited series was greenlit, cast, and halfway through production before a script supervisor realized the source material was publicly available and royalty-free.
Joel Whitaker · March 3, 2026
Man Who Said ‘I’ll Pray About It’ Has Not Prayed About It
It has been eleven days. He has, however, thought about it briefly while backing out of a parking spot.
Hannah Torres · March 4, 2026
Local Gym’s January Crowd Thins by February, Just Like Jesus Predicted About the Narrow Path
Of the 340 new memberships sold on January 2, eleven remain active. The treadmill area, once a place of suffering, is peaceful again.
Joel Whitaker · March 5, 2026
Taylor Swift Fan Claims Concert Experience ‘More Powerful Than Any Worship Service,’ Church Responds with Fog Machine
The worship committee held an emergency session and approved a $2,400 haze system, friendship bracelets for greeters, and a light-up wristband pilot program.
Hannah Torres · March 6, 2026
Study Finds Most Americans’ Theology Comes from Inspirational Instagram Quotes Misattributed to C.S. Lewis
Researchers found that 73% of the most-shared ‘C.S. Lewis quotes’ were written by no one in particular and one was from a fortune cookie.
Joel Whitaker · March 7, 2026
Super Bowl Halftime Show Deemed ‘Too Secular’ by Man Who Watched Entire Thing Twice
He also rewatched key segments on YouTube the following morning to confirm his disapproval.
Hannah Torres · March 8, 2026
Nation’s Therapists Report Record Demand After Family Group Chat Reactivated for Holiday Planning
The American Psychological Association has issued guidance recommending therapists pre-schedule extra sessions for the 48 hours following any group chat message that begins ‘So I was thinking.’
Joel Whitaker · March 9, 2026
Influencer’s ‘Unplugged Weekend’ Documented in 47 Instagram Stories
The stories included a sunrise, a journaling session, a stack of books she did not read, and a twelve-part reflection on the importance of silence.
Hannah Torres · March 10, 2026
Local Man Achieves Inner Peace, Loses It 8 Minutes Later in Target Parking Lot
The peace, which was achieved during a fifteen-minute guided meditation, was destroyed by a woman in a Kia Sorento who took the parking spot he had been waiting for.
Joel Whitaker · March 11, 2026