GREENVILLE, SC — A routine Sunday school lesson on Exodus chapters 7 through 12 inadvertently caused the largest single-day vaccination event in Greenville County history last weekend, after teacher Donna Hatchett’s “really vivid” retelling of the ten plagues sent roughly 340 congregants straight from the church parking lot to every pharmacy within a twelve-mile radius.

“I just wanted to make it come alive for the kids,” said Hatchett, 58, a retired dental hygienist who has taught the third-grade class at Grace Covenant Community Church for eleven years. “I brought visual aids. I had plastic frogs. I had a jar of red water. I maybe went a little heavy on the boils slide.”

According to witnesses, the pivotal moment came when Hatchett projected a full-screen image of a CDC measles rash alongside a Renaissance painting of the sixth plague and asked the children, “See any similarities?” The room, which included several parents observing from the back row, went silent.

Within twenty minutes, the church’s group text — normally reserved for potluck coordination and prayer requests — had devolved into a frantic thread of CVS and Walgreens locations with real-time availability updates. Deacon Marcus Webb, 44, was seen sprinting across the parking lot in his Sunday loafers yelling “They still have slots at the one on Pleasantburg!”

“Look, I’m not saying God sent the plagues to make a point about preventive medicine. I’m just saying He clearly has a track record of not messing around.”

Pastor Rich Aulander told reporters he supported his congregation’s decision fully, noting that “wisdom is a gift from the Lord, and so is the CVS MinuteClinic.” He added that he would be adjusting next week’s sermon series on faith and fear to include “a brief but pastorally responsible mention of the MMR vaccine.”

The CVS on Augusta Road reported running out of measles vaccines by 1:15 p.m., a development the store manager described as “unprecedented” and “honestly kind of beautiful.”

At press time, Hatchett had moved on to the Book of Leviticus and the church had preemptively scheduled a visit from the county health inspector.