Church Life
Sunday School Lesson on Plagues of Egypt Leads to Record Vaccination Turnout at Local CVS
Church Youth Group Attempts ‘2016 vs 2026’ TikTok Trend, Accidentally Films Entire Sermon
The 47-minute video has 4.3 million views. The pastor, who doesn’t know what TikTok is, is now the platform’s most unlikely influencer.
Hannah Torres · March 5, 2026
Worship Leader Adds Seventh Chorus of ‘One More Time’ as Congregation Visibly Ages
By chorus six, a deacon had quietly ordered lunch on his phone. The bass player has accepted his fate.
Joel Whitaker · March 3, 2026
Pastor Relieved AI Can’t Replace Him Until It Learns to Make Eye Contact During Altar Call
‘The Look’ — a specific combination of eye contact, raised eyebrow, and slight head tilt — has resulted in 340 conversions over his 30-year career.
Joel Whitaker · March 3, 2026
Church Sound Guy Has Been Running Wrong Slides for 20 Minutes, Congregation Too Polite to Say Anything
The lyrics on screen were for 'How Great Thou Art' while the worship team played 'Good Good Father.' Not one person looked up.
Joel Whitaker · March 7, 2026
Woman Shares 45-Minute Prayer Request That Is Clearly Just Gossip
The request included names, dates, screenshots, and what one small group member described as 'a level of sourcing that would impress the Associated Press.'
Hannah Torres · March 7, 2026
New Church Greeter’s Handshake So Firm It Constitutes Assault, Deacons Say
Three visitors have filed informal complaints. One man said he 'saw the Lord' but not in the way the greeter intended.
Miriam Pressley · March 8, 2026
Potluck Casserole Traced Back Five Churches, Believed to Be Oldest Known Fellowship Dish in Continuous Circulation
Carbon dating is pending, but early analysis suggests the tuna noodle base predates the church’s founding by at least three years.
Ezra Kim · March 8, 2026
Man Who Arrived Late to Service Now Trapped in Middle of Pew, Accepts He Will Not Leave Until the Rapture
He is flanked by two elderly women who have not moved since 1987 and a family of six with no concept of personal space.
Joel Whitaker · March 9, 2026
Church Launches $4 Million Building Campaign, Currently Cannot Afford to Fix Coffee Maker
The capital campaign brochure features renderings of a new worship center. The fellowship hall coffee maker has been broken since Pentecost Sunday 2024.
Hannah Torres · March 9, 2026